Thursday, July 28, 2011

If Michigan Automobiles Were Treated As Handguns...

If Michigan automobiles were treated as though they were firearms:

Police departments would "buy-back" cars from thieves and have them destroyed instead of returning them to their owners.

Owning more than one car would label you as odd because you had the nerve to own a fleet of them.

GM, Ford, and Chrysler would be sued by Jesse Jackson to remedy all of the carjackings taking place in urban America.

Buying an out-of-state car would require the services of two automobile dealerships to complete the transfer of ownership.

Attending a car show would require you to siphon out all of your gas in the parking lot.

Muscle cars would be declared by anti-auto activists as being too powerful to be driven on the road.

Not reporting the theft of a car within five days would be a criminal offense.

When being pulled over by a traffic cop, you'd be required by law to inform him that you are driving an automobile.

Politicians in big cities would urge you to walk while they're chaufered all over town.

A Driver's License would require passing a criminal background check.

Cars with gas tanks larger than ten gallons would be viewed with suspicion; no one needs that much gas.

There would be different traffic signs in every state.

Local newspapers would ban ads from lawful owners trying to sell them to qualified owners.

You'd have to visit the Secretary of State to have it registered in your name before borrowing it from a friend or a family member.

You'd have to either walk to work or have a family member drop you off at your job while customers could bring their auto onto company property.

Alcohol related incidents would lead folk to undertake efforts to ban them instead of holding the drivers accountable.

Anti-car advocates would call for a ban on gasoline.

Anti-car advocates would call for laws to assign a specific gasoline formula to be assigned to each driver.

Only models that did not look too intimidating (e.g. black and large) would be allowed on the road.

Mufflers would require a special license from NHSTA.

Politicians would blame speeding on cheap and/or foreign models.

Did I miss any?
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